Saturday, September 24, 2011


I have been in a strange funk lately and I haven't been able to put my finger on it. I thought maybe it was our farm struggles, adjusting to adulthood, having new job after new job, or that maybe I needed a Bible study. Nope. While watching Western perform tonight I realized it.
I MISS MUSIC. I NEED MUSIC. Its not that its my oxygen or an idol I worship. It is that it completes me, makes my over active and under used creative side run wild, it is my worship. It is where I feel closest to myself and others and God
Today, I saw my elementary music teacher who I had for 3-5 grade. And she remembered me! Over fifteen years and she remembered me. Why? Because music has always been so strong in me that that is how people remember me. Courtney=music.
And now I am musically starved. I have music for no more than five hours a week.... That may seem like a lot but in college it was all around me. I was submerged in riley's "In C", Kodaly techniques, and strange vocalises. I was accepted to a research conference for music. I was submerged in its depths.
There is little depth to this soul quenching experience now. I feel that since I have subcomb to musical starvation that I am losing touch with myself and forgetting how to worship. Central UMC's choir taught me the beauty of worship within the classics and how hard practie and Focus on musicality was a way to pleSe God. Where is my music?
I must find an outlet....

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